we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
