so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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