Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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