your room smells of hookers.
And success
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
