Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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