it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
