are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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