He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
