I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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