U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Randomize
