READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
