people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
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