trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
