i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
