just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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