'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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