Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Randomize
