I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
