Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Randomize
