I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
