So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
