so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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