She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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