Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
