Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
We were destined to go to rehab together
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
is that a dick in a sweater?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
