sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
