I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
