just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
It's rum buckets o'clock
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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