i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Randomize
