I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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