i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
