Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college

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(903): View more from Texas

I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.

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(239): View more from Florida

When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.

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(562): View more from California

you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.

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(210): View more from Texas

Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.

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(424): View more from California

i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.

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(417): View more from Missouri

So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..

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