i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
