that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
