i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
i need some magic done to my vagina
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
