I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
