CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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