This is not my ceiling
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
