dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
