dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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