why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I currently don't understand fingers.
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