my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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