Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
