i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
The Olympian is in my bed
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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