a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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