so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
