new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
