yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
