i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
