the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize