Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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