I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
