On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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