she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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