you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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