from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
