and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You need a sexual gate keeper
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Dick very happy bro
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
