What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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