Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize