I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
