I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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