drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
