Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
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you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
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I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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