I will die if light touches me.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize