is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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