i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Congratulations! We have a period
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