she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
