Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
